long ass day  

brandon called me tonight. im too tired to go out though. i miss him.

alot of shit is new, nothin i need to say tho.


my knees hurt.
alot.

damn. im really starting to think that good things will never stay in my life longer than like three days.

brandon hasnt really called me much lately, even though him and lamar pulled that stupid shit the other night. its really kind of funny. but embarrassing. brandon is amazing. thats all i can say, thats the only word that came close to describing him and how he made me feel. i really hope he still calls me and shit. cause i really would like something to work out with us. and i actually call him. i dont usually call many boys.

holy shit. jay had his phone number changed months ago, and i was really angry about it, well not angry, but i missed him. and i saw him!! it was so weird, cause the night before, i had been crazy trying to get in touch with him. i dont know if anything will happen.. like us chillin or not.. i called him last night, but it was crazy raining and i was gonna call him to see what was goin on as soon as i parked or something, but he didnt pick up when i called again. hes notorious for that.                    i kind of think he didnt want to though. because i dont know.


work freaking sucks. i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate^{^78934579345} it.




i still motherfuckin miss robb.



_{im so lonely.}

i met a boy. william brandon dooley?  i dont remember his last name. but hes freaking amazing. ive hung out with him three times, and it feels like ive known him for years. brandon is lamars cousin, and very gorgeous. i dont know whats going to happen with us, but i dont care, im so content with just living in the moment. especially with him. and thats the way to do it, thats probably a secret not many people know. dont worry about the labels or where your going to be in five months.
"life passes most people by when theyre busy making grand plans for it."


bj is being a jerk today. he imed me and hes all like.. your too cool to hang out with me. youve dropped plans three times and third times the charm... hes so weird. we fought alot then i proved him wrong and he wont talk to me now.

emilys info is kind of lame. "high school relationships are a waste of time. you heard it here first." like shes the first person to have thought of that or something. she obviously didnt, otherwise she wouldnt have gone through hell with two other high school relationships.


yesterday was robbs birthday. i gave him a call. it was short. i miss him alot.



i never found the words to say.. your the one i think about each day.

im not in a good mood right now. i hate girls. their all bitches.

im waiting on megan to get ready. i dont know where were going, but im ready to go.

bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate being the girl who doesnt ever get ready.

okay so im really pissed off right now.

i bought a book yesterday, called go ask alice. it was the shittiest book i ever read. i thought it was going to be really good, because it was about this girl on drugs, and not that i can relate.. cause i cant.. but the whole world of drugs.. and its addicts, et cetera, intrigues me in a way. i dont know how to explain it without sounding like im on drugs.. or want to do them. cause i dont. but i guess i dont really need to explain my reasoning.

so about this book.. it was supposed to be the diary of a real teen girl who was on drugs.. and it obviously wasnt written by a real teen younger than me, because it was all preachy. and no teen thinks like that. it was obviously written by an old woman tryin to be preachy. i went to amazon.com today.. and found out.. it was. thats such bullshit who the fuck lies to you about who wrote a mother fucking book!??!?!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know i just feel so deceived!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im really angry i just paid six dollars for that book.
 

see this is the journal of a real girl.

not that bullllllllllllllllshit.

so i went on a kind of date last night.

with josh cable