i dont know, ive been really stressed out lately because of him and school and work and im just tryin so hard to stay out of trouble, which isnt so hard because i dont do anything really wrong and get my life back in order.. and keep my friends / just be a better person.. but its really hard to do everything when im seventeen dealing with grown up problems.

i really care about nate. and i know he cares about me so much, its been really tough, cause he went to court today and his date was postponed till january. so that buys me alittle more time.. but its just rough.. i dont want to lose him, but i also know that hes not really all that good for me, since hes so dependent on me. and sometimes i think he cares about me alot more than i care about him. we dont really get along very well sometimes but others were perfect for each other. he thinks we fight so much because were both really stubborn. but i know that im more stubborn than him, because ive ended shit twice.. or tried to.. and wouldnt have called him back.. and he called me back and i finally picked up...... one of these times was today... i was really pissed off at him he called me a bitch .. and that is a terrible thing to say, and then i   went to fazolis... and emily talked to him about shit and helped alot.. and then iwas still unsure about shit and we got in a fight and he told me that  i had mixed personalities.. which was kind of awkward, cause i mean, i do...... but i dont want to hear that.....i dont know its a really difficult relationship, but i wouldnt stay in it if i didnt think it was worth it